Affliction

Thoughts and emotions tend to linger from past experiences as to be expected. They are always with you no matter how you try to shake them. However, the significance of those estranged memories begin to manifest themselves during certain time periods of your life. And in those moments you realize how they have truly affected everything you've become and how you deal with current/future events. 

I've always categorized those that harm themselves to be in another class of reality, that no amount of sadness could ever make me go to such lengths as to hurt the one that loves me the most; no matter how many times it has crossed my mind. But then it occurred to me that those types of things can be readily identified in a seemingly 'normal' individual. It's just harder to spot. There are a wide variety of ways to harm oneself. And the point behind that is not to figure out what it is people find to kill the pain, it's simply 'why is it there to begin with?'. And not only that but why it becomes increasingly difficult to abstain from the very things you know will break you down time and time again. 

I can only imagine some people's recollections of their childhood. There are so many things that occur in ones life at a young age that it isn't surprising how effective environmental influences really can be when shaping ones mind and character.  It is those very things that give rise to our thought processes and actions. This is especially true with decision making. The events in our life make us who we are. The question is how to stop that twisted cycle of guilt and self infliction?