Thoughts
and emotions tend to linger from past experiences as to be expected.
They are always with you no matter how you try to shake them. However,
the significance of those estranged memories begin to manifest
themselves during certain time periods of your life. And in those
moments you realize how they have truly affected everything you've
become and how you deal with current/future events.
I've
always categorized those that harm themselves to be in another class of
reality, that no amount of sadness could ever make me go to such
lengths as to hurt the one that loves me the most; no matter how many
times it has crossed my mind. But then it occurred to me that those
types of things can be readily identified in a seemingly 'normal'
individual. It's just harder to spot. There are a wide variety of ways
to harm oneself. And the point behind that is not to figure out what it
is people find to kill the pain, it's simply 'why is it there to begin
with?'. And not only that but why it becomes increasingly difficult to
abstain from the very things you know will break you down time and time
again.
I
can only imagine some people's recollections of their childhood. There
are so many things that occur in ones life at a young age that it isn't
surprising how effective environmental influences really can be when
shaping ones mind and character. It is those very things that give rise
to our thought processes and actions. This is especially true with
decision making. The events in our life make us who we are. The question
is how to stop that twisted cycle of guilt and self infliction?
